Suck. Me.

Taken from an actual email from a disgruntled student, who received a C- on his mid-term exam:

"As for my midterm I thought I would have received a higher grade, not an A but at least a B."

My response:

"I understand that you may feel frustrated about your scores. It is equally frustrating to me that, after each of your scores is posted, you send an email to me stating that you believe you performed better than what your score reflects. Particularly when I spend such an extraordinary amount of time checking and re-checking each and every assignment, and believe that my evaluation of your work is precisely represented in the score that I record.

My fantasy retort:

Suck. Me.

Dumb Ass.